An obituary is more than an announcement—it’s a personal tribute. Learn who usually writes it, what to include, and how to create something heartfelt and accurate.
Who Should Write the Obituary?
Writing an obituary is both an emotional responsibility and a meaningful way to honor someone’s life. It shares the news of their passing while also capturing the essence of who they were. Choosing the right person to write it ensures the final words are thoughtful, respectful, and true to their memory.
What Is An Obituary? (and Why It Matters)
An obituary isn’t just a formal notice—it’s a snapshot of a life. Whether published in a newspaper, shared online, or included in a memorial program, it helps people remember and reflect. A well-crafted obituary also invites others to join in grieving, celebrating, or paying respects.
Who Usually Writes the Obituary?
A Close Family Member
Often, a spouse, child, sibling, or parent takes the lead. They’re usually most familiar with the details of the person’s life and can write with intimacy and affection.
A Friend or Extended Family Member
Sometimes, the person closest emotionally may not feel up to writing. A friend, cousin, or in-law might step in, often with help from immediate family members to gather facts or review drafts.
Funeral Home Staff or a Hired Writer
Funeral directors often offer obituary templates or writing services. Some families also hire a professional writer—especially when they want the obituary to read like a story, not just a summary.
How to Choose the Right Person to Write It
Consider these questions:
- Did they know the person well?
The writer should be familiar with their life, personality, and values. - Are they comfortable writing?
Clear, compassionate writing goes a long way in capturing someone’s legacy. - Can they handle it emotionally?
Grief can make it hard to focus or write. Some people may prefer to help from the sidelines. - Are they available to gather details?
The writer should be able to contact relatives, double-check facts, and meet any deadlines for publication or printing.
What to Include in the Obituary & How Does It Work?
A basic obituary usually covers:
- Full name (and nickname, if applicable)
- Age and place of death
- Date and place of birth
- Immediate family—both surviving and predeceased
- Career, accomplishments, or community roles
- Personal interests or qualities
- Service or memorial details
- Charitable donation preferences, if relevant
Some people also include a favorite quote, a memory, or a few lines that reflect the person’s spirit.
Collaborative Writing
There’s no rule that one person has to write it alone. Often, one person drafts while others contribute memories or edits. This team approach can make the process easier and ensure the result reflects a fuller picture of the person’s life.
In Closing
Choosing who writes the obituary is an important part of saying goodbye. Whether it’s written by a family member, a friend, or a professional, what matters most is that it’s honest, thoughtful, and full of heart. It’s more than a notice—it’s a keepsake of a life well lived.
